My Life at the moment!

Band:Well, Everett, was ALOT of fun, Sam and I had a fairly good time together.Everett was an amazing expirence all on it's own.We placed in the top 12 band(out of like 30 total I think)And we got, either nineth or tenth.We have been working on the medieval feast stuff, last night was our first night, and it wasn't the best...I  wanted to hit Amanda, over half the time, she didn't do anything, except bitch!Tracey was my peddling buddy, but we kept getting seperated, and I think Mary's little sister stole, about $60 from us.The play itself was a disaster, we were supposed to seperate each part of the play.That didn't happen at all, on the plus side I got;Morgan,Ashely,Karl,AND Nana sent to the stocks!!

Friends:Aurora and I have been talking about, well stuff.One of my friends is pregnant, and the daddy is Mr. Chris Mcgrenold's.I want to kill him, I can't because his baby's mommy still loves him.He isn't even going to take responsibility, he is goingt o stay with his corrent girlfriend and TRY to do stuff with Crawford, I want to castraight that MOTHA FUCKA!!! If you're going to get a woman pregnant and then leave, you don't deserve to have nuts, there's no discussing it.He has a freaking crush me, and he is trying to talk to me every chance he gets.I want NOTHING to do with him.So, anyways, Ashley ignored me yesterday, she talked to Taylor and Katie, and Tyler Larson, and why ANYONE could be friends with that SON OF A BITCH is BEYOND me...I hate him for EVERYTHING he has put Sarah through, and I can't believe the three of them could even TALK to him!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!I thought atleast Ashley was friends with Sarah.Sorry, in a ranty sort of mood.My REAL friends, are alright, everyone else...yeah anywho.

Sam!:Tomorrow is our one year anniversary!I'm VERY excited, he and I are going to see Happy Feet,and thenwe're coming to my house to watch movies, I'm even making him speghetti for dinner.I hope he likes it, I hope I don't burn it actually, because I really don't want to have to buy pizza...

ill write more later!!

My Life at the moment!

Band:Well, Everett, was ALOT of fun, Sam and I had a fairly good time together.Everett was an amazing expirence all on it's own.We placed in the top 12 band(out of like 30 total I think)And we got, either nineth or tenth.We have been working on the medieval feast stuff, last night was our first night, and it wasn't the best...I  wanted to hit Amanda, over half the time, she didn't do anything, except bitch!Tracey was my peddling buddy, but we kept getting seperated, and I think Mary's little sister stole, about $60 from us.The play itself was a disaster, we were supposed to seperate each part of the play.That didn't happen at all, on the plus side I got;Morgan,Ashely,Karl,AND Nana sent to the stocks!!

Friends:Aurora and I have been talking about, well stuff.One of my friends is pregnant, and the daddy is Mr. Chris Mcgrenold's.I want to kill him, I can't because his baby's mommy still loves him.He isn't even going to take responsibility, he is goingt o stay with his corrent girlfriend and TRY to do stuff with Crawford, I want to castraight that MOTHA FUCKA!!! If you're going to get a woman pregnant and then leave, you don't deserve to have nuts, there's no discussing it.He has a freaking crush me, and he is trying to talk to me every chance he gets.I want NOTHING to do with him.So, anyways, Ashley ignored me yesterday, she talked to Taylor and Katie, and Tyler Larson, and why ANYONE could be friends with that SON OF A BITCH is BEYOND me...I hate him for EVERYTHING he has put Sarah through, and I can't believe the three of them could even TALK to him!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!I thought atleast Ashley was friends with Sarah.Sorry, in a ranty sort of mood.My REAL friends, are alright, everyone else...yeah anywho.

Sam!:Tomorrow is our one year anniversary!I'm VERY excited, he and I are going to see Happy Feet,and thenwe're coming to my house to watch movies, I'm even making him speghetti for dinner.I hope he likes it, I hope I don't burn it actually, because I really don't want to have to buy pizza...

ill write more later!!

Bleh...

So, I wanted to let all of you who actually read these what has been happening in my life.

Band:We took First in

         Wenatchee, it was really cool.I think Grostick picked a pretty good competition to start us off.Then again, it was my first and so I have nothing to compare it  too.Sad huh?Sam and I were fighting most of the time, we have been alot lately, but I'll explain that in a little bit.

    Tumwater:We placed second, I think that was the best one so far, mostly because it was a TON of fun!!!We did lots of cheering and stuff and we were the only ones that did it...Although MV's trombones were dissing Micheal and I almost broke out of attention to punch them.It was obnoxius,even if it IS thier first year marching.Its mine too and you don't hear me calling people ITs... UGH!!!

        Yakima: Was the hardest, I messed up SOOO much, it was worse than Wenatchee in that sense.If we hadn't messed up piliminaries(sp?) we might have gotten second instead of third, but Shelton is FINALLY getting thier name out in the marching band world I'm told.Which makes me happy, because I'm finally part of something BIG, that's also productive.We ate at Old Country Buffet, Sam and I sat with Valarie and Jacob(O)...It was ALOT of fun, but Sam and Jacob ate too much.Jacob even tried to make himself throw-up.Valarie was SOOO P.O.ed.Our aux.(color guard) took captions(meaning they were the best in our division)....Sweepstakes was given to Pasco and they DESERVED IT!!!! OH MY GOSH!!!! It was such an awesome show...I man there were some problems, but thier flutes doubled as guard members which made it even better.They DEFINATLY out worked us.

FRIENDS!!!!

Well, everything in the friendship depertment is completely cunfuzzled.Aurora, is having issues and I REALLY should've talked to her today, but I didn't.Sarah (B) and I don't really tal kmuch anymore, again.We've just got REALLY busy schedules so it's REALLY hard to fit in girl time.I don't think I can be friends with Sarah(G)...She makes me feel really paranoid, because she is ALWAYS on Sam's side when we are fighting and the first thing she does is go running to comfort him, to make him happy.She does a really good job of it, and I feel threatened.I hate feeling like that, I want her to be my friend, but I created some problems for her, and now she doesn't trust me, and she doesn't want to be my friend.I'm just a little hurt.Sara(c) was making me angery for a while, because she kept telling me that it was obvious that I liked DS...I have since the eighth grade, and old crushes die hard.Sam found out, he was jealous, but it's not something for him to worry about.I got what I wanted, for him to be an ass(DS).So, now I really don't like him, or even want to be his friend.He was mean to Sam, he was disrespectful to my relationship and I was done by that point.Michelle is mad because she thinks I'm leading him on, I don't think I am.He doesn't like ME!I'm pretty enough, I'm not preppy enough, I'm not good enough for him to even think about liking me.Which in the begining made me sad, but he doesn't value his own relationships, amd to be honest he isn't that great.Sam is a WAAAY better man.DS is a poo-poo head, Sam can be an ass sometimes, but he's funny(usually),Sam actually cares about me, he loves me.He's a nice guy, he doesn't yell at me, even when I am being impossible, he makes me feel safe.HE listens I talk,he listens when I talk...all in all he's a GREAT guy.DS couldn't even compare...

The Sam Front:

We've been arguing more and more lately.I think I've just been getting crazier and crazier...I really should take Michelle's advice, I know that Ms.W isn't my advisor...but I'd feel more comfortable talking to her than who ever it is that I'm assigned to.She's a really cool person.I think, I'm stresing Sam out, and so he keeps snapping, because with school and band and our families being crazy, it's hard to just be US w/out anything else getting in the way.Which makes me sad, he doesn't really trust me anymore.I just, everything has just over welmed me and I keep making up excuses, but I don't know how long it's going to last.I really do Love him, and I don't wnat this to end.I even have our anniversary planned out.Hopefully he can stand me for a little while longer, even if that is it.

Past events and upcoming events:

Homecoming was pretty cool, it was kinda,it wasn't what I had planned at all.It ened alright.My dress was pretty, really pretty, even if I felt gross in it.I didn't want to, I want to feel as beautiful as I was told I looked.WE have Everett Competition Saturday, it's going to be a LOOONG day, I kind of wished I could invite Sunni and Darrel.They would like it some, I hope, I dunno, I'll leave them a message tomorrow.

So yeah, that's basically it.That's what I have been up to lately, I hope your not too dissapointed.I haven't really talked to anyone lately.Well, Nancy did call last time Sam was over, but he was all over me, so I couldn't stay on for very long.

I miss all you guys who I don't talk to anymore...

                                            .:~natalie~:.

I want my own baby Kitty

  So,today at costco I saw these three baby kities.They were sooo adorable, two had short hiar but the one I wanted was fluffy...kinda like this one>>>>>.I wanted it sooo badly. I practically cried, it was soo cute and all I wanted was a baby *kitten*.I whinned the ENTIRE time we were in costco, and then some.I'm sooo tired from the band trip I wasn't sure if that's why I was sooo whinny or if it wasn't because I missed fate.Well, Fate is lik ethe EXACT opposite color, but ISN'T the point.The point is I want a companoin that's going to stick around for a while.I know Sam IS a companoin BUT! I can't cuddle with him WHENEVER!! And I can't exactly sleep with him.It's kind of hard being that we don't LIVE together...All I want is something that will come si t in my lap, and laugh in my face when I think I've got them trained.Something with personality.Diamond has, well diamond has WAAAAAY too much personality.In fact that cat is just an ASSHOLE in general....lmao, anyways...I'm pretty tired!!

~NAtalie

Hoping and wishing life would get easier

So, I have had to deal with losing a dear friend of mine,and then deal with the recent loss of my father.I wish someone could make all the pain go away, because I'm snapping at random people beacuse I'm so frustred.I'm so stressed,so tense that I'm pushing sam away and all he does is pull me closer.All this friction that  I'm causing is going to start a spark and then everything will brn down to nothing.Yet again will I have to salvage and start over.

   I hate knowing that everything will change, that I'm growing up.Just as much as mother, all i wish is to be six again.When Barbie's was that it took to be cool, and I could have it both ways,be girly and still be daddy's little girl.I think that both my parents don't want me to grow up.Mom won't have much after I graduate, Colton will be gone the next year and Nicole will be with my dad.My father on the other hand, he's just upset because he doesn't like who I've become.I decided to break away from who he wanted me to be and now he's trying to make me suffer.

     It isn't fair that I have to put up with this and then have people yelling at me for all of these random mistakes.I have ALWAYS been a failure, the ONLY thing I have ever been good at is being skinny.All I asked is to be saved, from the darkness.I try so hard to get awya from it,I really do and I've come so close, but i lose my footing and I'm thrown back into a pit of despair.

Save me...Because I'm lost with out you